


Stupid, Sexy Sanji

by rayedictator



Series: Stupid, Sexy Sansuo [3]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-27 02:57:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18295457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayedictator/pseuds/rayedictator
Summary: Usopp gets a taste of his own unknowingly sexy medicine.Reading other entries in the series not required.





	Stupid, Sexy Sanji

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is a series now! Woo.  
> Anyway, listen, Sanji and Usopp are the ultimate switch couple and people who only let Sanji top are cowards. Cowards, I say!  
> Some notes about the AU:  
> -Usopp works as a mechanic at an auto shop owned by Franky  
> -Sanji and Zoro are roommates

“Are you still coming over after work?” read the text message from Sanji when Usopp finally turned his phone back on after leaving work.

  
“Yep, on my way now!” Usopp quickly replied before getting on his still relatively new scooter. Sanji had not been amused at his scooter, bought with the raise Franky recently gave him, and refused to ride on it because apparently walking home from the restaurant with Usopp puttering behind him was more dignified. Still despite his boyfriend's resistance Usopp loved his scooter and especially loved how much shorter it made his commute from work to home, his or Sanji's.

  
Really, Sanji should be thankful for Usopp's scooter since it got him to Sanji and Zoro's place in twenty minutes flat instead of the usual forty.

  
Usopp parked his scooter in the guest parking area and made his way up to the third floor of the apartment building.

  
“Come in, it's unlocked!” Sanji's voice could be heard through the door as soon as Usopp knocked.

  
“I'm here,” Usopp announced when he entered, bending down in the foyer to take his boots off.

  
“I'm just finishing up my stretches; I was working out,” came Sanji's voice from the living room.

  
Usopp finally managed to toe off his boots and went into the living room. “So what are we doing tonight, do you want to go out or stay—holy shit!”

  
“What are you yelling about now?” Sanji asked, fond if exasperated, looking up from his spot on the floor where he was doing a full side split.

  
“W-what are you doing?” Usopp asked, more panicky than he would like but wow he did not know Sanji was so flexible and was he wearing yoga pants?

  
Usopp couldn't help but stare a bit. Yeah, yoga pants were definitely what was hugging every inch of Sanji's legs and, oh god, ass.

  
“Stretching, didn't you hear me?” Sanji asked.

  
“Why are you, uh,” language and coherence seemed to be rapidly escaping Usopp's brain, “I didn't know you could do the splits.”

  
Sanji gave him a wry look. And he was still doing the splits, oh god, why was he still doing the splits?

  
“I kick box babe, I'd be pretty shitty at it if I couldn't do this,” Sanji said, nonchalant.

  
“And you're wearing yoga pants,” Usopp's mouth continued without permission.

  
Sanji looked excited suddenly. And he was still doing the splits. Usopp was pretty sure he was dying.

  
“Yeah, I just got them! Nami, being the angel that she is, recommended I get these for working out. She said she wears them too.”

  
Nami was no angel, she was a witch. Usopp just knew she did this one purpose knowing that since Sanji is a fashion disaster when he wasn't wearing a suit he wouldn't realize...

  
Wait, Sanji didn't realize.

  
Usopp finally understood with painful clarity what Sanji meant when he said Usopp was being sexy without even realizing it. At least when Usopp was told he was being sexy he got flustered. Not Sanji, when Sanji was being sexy he leaned into it.

  
Hard.

  
It was fine though. As long as Usopp didn't let on to Sanji that he was being sexy, everything would be fine.

  
“Could you like, do that on my dick?” said Usopp's damn traitorous mouth.

  
His hands flung up to cover his face, which he could just feel the heat rolling off of so he hated to think of how it must look.

  
Sanji smirked suddenly and finally stopped his infernal splitting, crossing his legs.

  
“I don't know,” he replied, voice dropping a few octaves, “But I can sure as hell try.”

  
“That's okay,” Usopp said, voice doing the opposite of Sanji's and going up a few octaves.

  
“I never really thought about this kind of thing before since I've never been with a guy before you,” Sanji mused, finally standing and giving Usopp a better-than-ever view of his spandex clad ass.

  
“You don't have to get up,” Usopp said weakly. He tried to cover his eyes, but kept peeking through them. Oh god, he forgot about the bulge.

  
“What is it now?” Sanji asked, but then seemed to realize where Usopp was looking, or rather trying not to look. “Oh, the pants?”

  
“Sanji, try to imagine what you would think if I wore yoga pants.” Usopp immediately regretted that comment though when Sanji started turning purple. “Okay, now stop thinking about it and remember to breathe.”

  
“That would be, well, indeed,” Sanji was still having trouble collecting his thoughts after that image, “You're the one with the butt!”

  
“Your butt's still cute,” Usopp blurted out, “And very well defined in those pants.”

  
“I never thought about it. I never thought of anyone looking at me that way before,” Sanji looked thoughtful, “I don't mind it though, as long as it's you.”

  
Sanji walked over to Usopp, who was still sweating over the whole thing, and placed his forearms on Usopp's shoulders.

  
“You know,” he said slowly, “If you're so hot and bothered over me we can go do something about it.”

  
“We could,” Usopp stated dumbly.

  
“Yeah, you know I was a waiter for quite a few years and I'm always happy to serve,” Sanji whispered, breathe hot against the shell of Usopp's ear.

  
Usopp groaned, but even the cheesy line couldn't kill his boner.

  
“Okay, let's go,” Usopp said, taking Sanji's hands from his shoulders.

  
Sanji pressed against Usopp's back as he led the way to Sanji's room, the damn bulge outlined by his pants pressed to his lower back. Usopp could swear he could feel Sanji smile against the side of his face.

  
“I'm definitely ordering you some pants like these.”

**Author's Note:**

> *Sanji voice* I just try to pound my vagina into that stage so hard that the building shakes


End file.
